Not content with last year's lavish diamond jubilee extravaganza, the Queen is planning yet another junket this summer. Although last year's splurge marked the anniversary of her official accession to the throne in 1952, the actual coronation took place a year later. So hey, any excuse for another OTT royal rave.
We are informed that the monarch, her dire husband and other members of the world's most dysfunctional high-profile family will attend a four-day 'festival' at Buck House in July. The event, described as a major highlight of the coronation celebrations, is expected to attract the usual sycophantic politicians, military chiefs and foreign 'dignitaries' ever ready to indulge themselves at UK taxpayers' expense -- plus thousands of gullible Londoners and tourists fired by an insatiable lust for meaningless pomp and pageantry.
If you have the misfortune to fall into any of these categories, the 'festival of innovation, excellence and industry' will be held in the Buck House gardens from July 11 to 14. So apply early for tickets and you may get to meet Harry, the playboy prince, who will explain how he felt about killing people in Afghanistan; or even the grand duke himself. Women should be on their guard, however. He once famously asked a female guest at a similar bash: "You are a woman, aren't you?"
Alternatively, if you live in the real world outside the capital, you might consider donating the ticket money, not to mention the exhorbitant cost of four nights' stay in London, towards the rising number of food banks opening across the North of England. As the disunited kingdom heads for a triple-dip recession, these vital centres cannot afford a party. It is as much as they can manage to keep thousands of Brenda's impoverished subjects from the brink of starvation.
As that nice Mr Osborne helpfully put it, we are all in this together. Sadly, the ruling class, cushioned from real life by their monstrous wealth and their seven palaces, have long since secured themselves an opt-out.
