It's that time of year again -- when a coalition of the ungodly and the unhinged crawls out of the woodwork to attack the greatest event in the history of the world. Christmas, chorus the atheists, humanists, relativists and PC control freaks, has no place in a multi-cultural society. It should be replaced by a secular 'Winterval' festival so that no offence would be caused to ethnic minorities.
Even when the ethnic minorities in question deny any offence is taken and actually welcome the Christian message of peace and goodwill to all men (sorry, persons), the great reformers affect not to hear. To admit that they might have got it badly wrong would be unthinkable. Hell would freeze over. You get the feeling they're infected by Dawkins-style delusions of grandeur, grasping at generous invitations from cronies at the BBC and C4 to poison the airwaves with their prejudice. (There's hope for ITV).
Such is the success enjoyed by the creepy coalition that it seems only a matter of time before the killjoys completely adulterate our most sublime religious festival. The imagination boggles. Christmas trees could be outlawed to save the planet. Lentil roasts (Gaydian special recipe) might usurp traditional turkey to protect our health. 'Old-fashioned' carols give way to rock 'music'.Repeats of Life of Brian and Gerry Springer the Opera replace the Queen's Speech.
And sooner or later the Health and Safety Police could be relied on to ban Christmas crackers on the grounds that people might fall backwards and hurt themselves. I'm surprised they haven't thought of it already. Give them time! Meanwhile, God rest ye merry gentle people, let nothing you dismay...
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Pippa's back in town...
Great news! I read in the Buckingham Palace House Journal, otherwise known as The Daily Telegraph, that Pippa Middleton has exhausted her 29th birthday celebrations in America and returned to the UK to face the rigours of London's West End party scene. How heartening, to use the Telegraph columnist's expression, that the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge should favour us all not only with her dazzling presence but also with a book recently published in her vivid literary style on the formidable challenges facing high society party planners.
These challenges differ somewhat from those facing a growing number of families in Breadline Britian and what would be truly heartening would be if Pippa and her socialite chums were to join Delia Smith, the celebrity chef, in helping to tackle them. Just weeks after Save the Children shocked the nation by revealing that thousands of parents can no longer afford to feed their children, Delia opened a food bank in north Norfolk. It was the latest addition to a national network of such charity outlets opening in response to the pressing need caused by disgraceful changes in the benefits system.
It has been reported, not in the Telegraph I hasten to add, that in Manchester alone 42 per cent of children live below the poverty line -- double the national rate -- and that more than 40,000 youngsters in the city regularly go hungry. David Cameron has been shamed into admitting that this scandal makes a mockery of his 'Big Society' but the food banks keep opening and there is no sign of any of them closing.
However, as Pippa and her hangers-on will no doubt observe, the same applies to night clubs in the West End. As the song says: "The rich get richer and the poor get poorer...in the meantime, in between-time, ain't we got fun!"
These challenges differ somewhat from those facing a growing number of families in Breadline Britian and what would be truly heartening would be if Pippa and her socialite chums were to join Delia Smith, the celebrity chef, in helping to tackle them. Just weeks after Save the Children shocked the nation by revealing that thousands of parents can no longer afford to feed their children, Delia opened a food bank in north Norfolk. It was the latest addition to a national network of such charity outlets opening in response to the pressing need caused by disgraceful changes in the benefits system.
It has been reported, not in the Telegraph I hasten to add, that in Manchester alone 42 per cent of children live below the poverty line -- double the national rate -- and that more than 40,000 youngsters in the city regularly go hungry. David Cameron has been shamed into admitting that this scandal makes a mockery of his 'Big Society' but the food banks keep opening and there is no sign of any of them closing.
However, as Pippa and her hangers-on will no doubt observe, the same applies to night clubs in the West End. As the song says: "The rich get richer and the poor get poorer...in the meantime, in between-time, ain't we got fun!"
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