It's that time of year again -- when a coalition of the ungodly and the unhinged crawls out of the woodwork to attack the greatest event in the history of the world. Christmas, chorus the atheists, humanists, relativists and PC control freaks, has no place in a multi-cultural society. It should be replaced by a secular 'Winterval' festival so that no offence would be caused to ethnic minorities.
Even when the ethnic minorities in question deny any offence is taken and actually welcome the Christian message of peace and goodwill to all men (sorry, persons), the great reformers affect not to hear. To admit that they might have got it badly wrong would be unthinkable. Hell would freeze over. You get the feeling they're infected by Dawkins-style delusions of grandeur, grasping at generous invitations from cronies at the BBC and C4 to poison the airwaves with their prejudice. (There's hope for ITV).
Such is the success enjoyed by the creepy coalition that it seems only a matter of time before the killjoys completely adulterate our most sublime religious festival. The imagination boggles. Christmas trees could be outlawed to save the planet. Lentil roasts (Gaydian special recipe) might usurp traditional turkey to protect our health. 'Old-fashioned' carols give way to rock 'music'.Repeats of Life of Brian and Gerry Springer the Opera replace the Queen's Speech.
And sooner or later the Health and Safety Police could be relied on to ban Christmas crackers on the grounds that people might fall backwards and hurt themselves. I'm surprised they haven't thought of it already. Give them time! Meanwhile, God rest ye merry gentle people, let nothing you dismay...
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